”THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Reblog this!
It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a
situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world. THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…
FYI - Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
[Snipped for length and bullshit, but the full post is here, as well as on the Snopes page disproving it, linked below.]
Reblog this. Only the picture will appear on your blog.
NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE. This is a link to the Snopes page that disproves the first 3/4 of this post — which, FYI, has been circulating since early 2000. The Snopes article details the specifics of what about this post is incorrect (hint: everything up to the list of self-defense tips at the end, which I have no idea of the accuracy of, although I do know that you can kick the tail-lights out of some cars) and where it came from originally (hint: a lying liar who lied, sold this pile of fear-mongering garbage for money, and made most of it up) and what people who actually know what they’re talking about have said (hint: that it’s garbage). It is a very comprehensive read! I suggest you flip through it. And this is what I would like to add:
You know what lists like this do? They reinforce the incorrect idea that if rape victims had just worked a little harder, had just been a little more vigilant, they wouldn’t have gotten raped. They reinforce the incorrect idea that all rape is large men jumping out of dark alleys to attack small, attractive, unsuspecting women (nice photo at the top, by the way, not playing into any horrible racist stereotypes at all). They reinforce the incorrect idea that rape is something one must AVOID, rather than something one MUST NOT DO. They reinforce the incorrect idea that rape is about sex or attractiveness, rather than power and control. They reinforce the incorrect idea that only women get raped, and that only men rape. And they reinforce the incorrect idea that rape victims just weren’t intelligent or informed enough to ~save themselves~ from this, the same idea that guarantees that at least one person will reblog this from me saying, “Yeah, you can argue that nobody should rape, but people do anyway, so there’s nothing wrong with saying people should be smart about it.” As though intelligence has anything to do with this. As though, if you just follow all the rules, this will never happen to you.
I mean, holy shit, this post — which, by the way, any number of adult women sent to me when I was a teenager, which I didn’t find out was a crock of inaccurate made-up garbage until I was in college — is basically just a checklist of arbitrary-ass shit to be afraid of doing. If you don’t want to get raped, don’t wear your hair long or, god forbid, put it up a ponytail! Talking on your cell phone at night or looking in your purse is an invitation for rape! If you go and get your car out of your office parking garage at the end of the day, you’re asking for it! If you go to the grocery store, you’re asking for it! If you don’t put up a fight, you must have wanted to be raped (which, hey, fun fact: in addition to all the shit the Snopes page details about what’s wrong with this one, in situations of extreme trauma, like assault and rape? The human brain can retreat into a state where it basically shuts down to avoid feeling as much as possible. Retreating into this state is not a conscious choice! Some people don’t fight back against their rapists because they fear for their lives, and some people don’t fight back against their rapists because it becomes evident that this makes their rapist more violent, and some people don’t fight back against their rapists because they literally, physically cannot. Because they have retreated into a shock-like state. The more you know!)
Look, I want to be clear here: I am absolutely not advocating wandering around dark alleys late at night alone. But I also can’t imagine anyone I know — especially not the women at whom this post is targeted, women who, like me, were sent these emails and told these stories and raised sucking the bitter teat of this fear — doing that. And it’s not because we’re ~too smart~ to do that, and it’s not because we’re ~more careful~ than that; it’s because for our entire lives there’ve been people, emails, movies, television shows, all saying to us: IF YOU WALK ALONE AT NIGHT, YOU’RE GOING TO GET RAPED. IF YOU PARK IN A GARAGE, YOU’RE GOING TO GET RAPED. IF YOU DON’T LISTEN TO ME, YOU’RE GOING TO GET RAPED!! IF YOU DO GET RAPED, IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR NOT BEING MORE CAREFUL.
And the truth is, that’s fucking bullshit. For one thing, it’s just not ~men in dark alleys~ out there raping folks; it’s men we know, and women we know. It’s significant others and family members. It’s people in bars dropping GHB into your drink, or lacing your recreational drugs; it’s people you trust, or have been told to trust. It’s old friends! It’s new friends! It’s people you work with and people you would, until you’re proved otherwise, swear would not hurt a fly! And if they rape you, if they prove themselves to be someone other than the person you thought they were, whether they jump out at you from a dark alley or force themselves upon you in the aftermath of a date, that shit is their fucking fault. Rapists. Are to blame. For rape. Rapists. Rapists. Rapists. Not rape victims, and definitely not hairstyles of rape victims, what the fuck.
I mean, look, I’m sure whoever put this post up originally did it with the best of intentions; I’m not suggesting otherwise. I’m sure they saw this list and, like the disheartening number of people who’ve reblogged it, like all the people who have been circulating it since early 2000, thought they were being helpful, and had no idea that this entire thing is a list of of pseudo-facts made up by a random guy who wanted to play on fear to make a quick buck. But I do know that’s what it is, and the hell, the hell, if I am going to let another unfounded bullshit list of ways rape victims can blame themselves for something that will never be their faults circulate without pointing out that it’s crap. Crap, I tell you! Crap. Please insert nopetopus.gif and carry on.